you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize