What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Sober January is a disaster.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
