True but thats because hes a fetus.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
