He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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