I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
