after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
