I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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