how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
