Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
