So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
