I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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