And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Randomize
