Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
