Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
