My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
