Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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