Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
