about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
