Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
