i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
