So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
