They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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