I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
