I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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