Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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