Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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