$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just blew my weed a kiss
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
