i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
