Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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