I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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