Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
