I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
