It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
