i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
