I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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