You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
