i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
