Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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