"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
