Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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