tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
