3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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