Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
