So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize