the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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