Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
