Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
