soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
