Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
