i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
