don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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