She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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