On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
