Cold hands, warm shart.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
