There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
COCAINE IS GR8
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
