I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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