either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Randomize
