Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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