Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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