how can u be prego again
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
