Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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